• Those Other Three Words

    I got you, support, relationships, Dr. Gary Brown, Los Angeles therapist, individual therapy, relationship therapy, DrGaryLATherapist

    There’s a lot of talk about when to say those special three words – “I love you” – in a relationship. Some say a relationship can be doomed if they are shared too soon or not at all, and experts often weigh-in on the best timing.

    However, that’s actually not the subject of this article.

    I’m talking about the other three words that can be equally and sometimes even more impactful and meaningful during a time of great need. And those three words are, “I’ve got you.”

    They could be said from a friend, family member, a partner, loved one or co-worker.

    Have you heard those or similar words of support when you needed it? Was there a time when you needed to hear those words, and didn’t? If you heard those words, was it helpful? Not helpful? What about if you didn’t hear it and what was the impact of that?

    It might be helpful to think about what those words actually mean to you. Also, what might they mean if you said them to a loved one?

    Think about all the different meanings those three words can mean:

    • I have your back.
    • You are not alone.
    • I understand you.
    • I’m with you.
    • I am here to support you unconditionally.
    • You can count on my loyalty.
    • I support you.
    • We can face this together.
    • I’m here for you.

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    One way to think of it is like this: consider the words, “I love you,” as the emotion and “I got you” as the action. It is kindness and loyalty that is demonstrated. Those three words are where the rubber meets the road.

    “I got you” can be reactive, especially if someone asks for help. Think of where you stepped up to support friends or family members. Maybe there was a meal train for someone who was sick or supporting a colleague’s charity.

    However, “I got you” can also be proactive. When someone’s beyond stressed or hurting and they need someone to talk to, or a meal and wine brought over, offering to drive someone to a doctor’s appointment.

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    “I got you” is an act of service love language. It conveys a special kind of caring on your part. Saying these words is always better when it is followed up with action.

    It also takes knowing the person well enough to do what’s needed…and understanding their boundaries, no matter how well-intentioned you are.

    It means wanting to know the person well enough to know their love languages.

    “I got you” is unconditional. They don’t owe you. You don’t owe them. It is an act of freely loving and then expressing your love.

    Think about who in your life right now could really use these three words from you. Who is facing a situation that is stressful, overwhelming or potentially scary? What can you do to show support and step up?

    And, of course, the same may have some meaning for you as well, right now. What challenges might you be currently facing and who would you like to reach out to so that you can feel that someone’s “got you” right now?

    relationships, support, Dr. Gary Brown, Los Angeles therapist, individual therapy, relationship therapy, DrGaryLATherapist

    I hope that you have found this article helpful. If you need a little extra guidance or support right now – for yourself or perhaps someone else, please feel free to contact me for a free 15-minute phone consultation. I am glad to help out in any way I can.

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